TTC self care tips for the holidays 🎄
20th December 2019
TTC self care tips for the festive holiday season: we need them. The winter holidays can be lovely. For many of us this is when we unplug to spend time with friends and family, indulge and celebrate!
However, if you’re trying to conceive or working through loss, this season can be a lonely and difficult time. Stress levels can feel high, but this is normal and okay. We’re here for you.
I’ve spoken to friends who have recently gotten engaged, married, TTC, or have experienced loss. We’re bringing you top tips on how to get through the festive season in one piece, good spirits intact.
The classic “so…when baby” question
Nearly every woman is hit with this, whether single, engaged, newlywed or actively trying to conceive. An almost guaranteed question asked by well-meaning, sometimes nosy relatives: “So, when do you think you’ll have a kid?”. I’ve had this thrown at me while innocently trying to enjoy a mince pie. It’s definitely ruined many a pie.
Firstly, remember this is a personal question, and you don’t need to answer. One that can be particularly painful to hear if you’re TTC. You don’t need to answer Nosy Aunt Hilda on this one.
Consensus here is you should respond in the way that feels comfortable and authentic to you. I’m private and shy, so my strategy is to pretend I haven’t heard the question and ignore it.
You could prepare stock responses ahead of time if you want to, whether that’s along the lines of declining to discuss, or a quick-fire retort. But honestly, you don’t have to put that effort in yourself! Enlist the help of a trusted friend or partner and let them handle the witty retorts. Respond in a way that doesn’t drain you, and remember you don’t owe an answer. Don’t let it ruin your mince pie, or your mood.
Yet another pregnancy announcement 🤰
Families are gathered in one place over the holidays, making this peak time for Good-News-Announcements. That includes pregnancy announcements. If you’re trying (or struggling) to conceive, this is understandably difficult. Of course you’re happy to hear good news, but feeling your feelings doesn’t make you a bad person. This is natural.
If you’re keeping your TTC journey private, or dealing with baby loss, give yourself time to feel what you need to. The top tip I’ve had here: only deal with what you can. If you need to leave the room after a pregnancy announcement, that’s fine.. People will understand, especially those who care about you. Prioritize yourself and allow yourself to feel sad or upset if you need to. Express your happiness for others once you can.
Get ON social media, just the good bits
I’m a child of the Internet. Well-intentioned self-care tips advise unplugging over the holidays, but this can feel simplistic and unrealistic. TTC or working through the grief of baby loss can be isolating in itself. It can feel like literally everyone is having the “best xmas ever!” while you’re on a long, lonely journey. Don’t go it alone: reach out, or view things that help you stay grounded.
My tip is use social media wisely this festive season. Follow accounts on Instagram that support you through your journey, people who ‘get it’. Engage in community – groups like the Adia Community on Facebook are there for you to vent, share a positive thought, or reach out to someone feeling similarly. Share TTC self care tips with each other.
Everyone deals with things differently, so if you feel you’re better without – do unplug and get off social.
Follow TTC self care tips this season
Let yourself breathe. It’s okay if your TTC nutrition plan slips. It’s okay if you’ve been teary about your cousin’s baby gripping your finger. You’re human, you’re doing your best.
Do small, meaningful things that help you stay centered. Meditate, drink a cup of tea mindfully or start writing down positive affirmations.
A friend of mine who’s been TTC for 6 months has a brilliant strategy. She took to escaping the loud cheer of Christmas parties by popping to the loo to plug in her AirPods and listen to a 5-minute meditation. Quirky, but she came back refreshed and able to enjoy herself.
Another friend who’s experienced miscarriage shared the pain she felt when her sister started breastfeeding at the Xmas dinner table. She kept calming gifs on her phone to scroll through when she felt this way. That worked for her, find what helps you!
If you want to explore stress relief, we’ve got meditations here at Adia that have helped friends and family get through the festive season in good spirits. My sister’s been starting her morning with our Cycle Day Meditations – it’s grounding gets her ready for the day ahead.
Join Adia to try out our short, free guided meditations.
P.S. If you want to talk about how Adia can support you over the hectic festive season, get in touch with me! We love hearing from our members, and their stories inspire us every day. We’re here for you.